“Captain of this Ship” – A Poem by Brandon Chai

An eight month battle finally over
but so many things to say moreover
I must tell my story from whence it began
so that someone out there may understand

It was March of 2014 in which we met
we chatted on ChristianMingle…an instant connect
I must confess that I loved her from the start
so much in common right down to my heart

From the moment we met, I knew she was “The One”
I knew we’d be forever…forever plus some
I believed her when she said that God ruled her World
God ruled mine too. It would be a man and his girl

Before I met her, I thought I was fine
Had everything I wanted…was just missing a love divine
Had my own house, a great life, and my best friend was a bunny
Although I wasnt rich, I didnt really need any more money

When I met her, I allowed her to join in my Life
I shared everything I had with my future Wife
She shared everything too, at least so it seemed
she seemed so generous, so sincere, so serene

Together, away in our new life we would beam
I had to trade mine though to chase her dreams
I sacrificed so much for her because I felt safe
I never would have thought that she was lying to my face

She was so beautiful to me, mind, body, and soul
I just wish she could have felt the same about me as a whole
I know I wasnt the “perfect” Husband but I sure tried my best
In a race of who Loved her most, I strived to stand above all the rest

In my own way, I tried so hard to treat her like Gold
She was my Wife and My Life and I tried to let it be told
I know she feels I failed her…failed her some how
I just wish we could have worked through our differences, but it’s impossile now

I will never forget the day that I sat in the Courtroom and heard her utter those words…
the day she pushed me out of her life permanently in divorce…my heart stabbed with swords
I cried so hard like a river running to and through
thinking to myself, how I could have been so blind…Should I have knew?

eight months of tribulation…for what? and why?
was it because of her attorney? He was cunning and sly
Claims of being a Christian but noone saw it
The only thing everyone besides her saw was that he was a litigator who loved it

In the beginning, we both wanted the same thing
we wanted salvation…our Love back…and our Marriage ensynced
Sadly though, we were both victims of a viscous system
When you take God out of the Court, you become victims of men

That’s what we were…both of us
Divorce is their business, not saving Marriages, which sucks
We were doomed from the start…from the start of it all
only we had the potential to end it right, but with our lack of understanding, we were bound to fall

In the end, here I am
A divorced man, with much less than I had when…
when we first met on that amazing day
my home and former life now taken away

I know that she feels like she acted generously when she gave me a condo and a car in return
but I know that the truth of what truly happened she may never learn
I must now accept that fact and move on with my Life
God will pick up the pieces…goodbye my once Wife

I once told her…it seems like a long time ago…
That I would take a bullet for her and that I wanted her to know
I also told her before our separation while we were still living together…
that she was the Captain of the ship we were on, and that if the ship sunk, we would sink together

I never realized this until now but I honored those promises
The bible calls a man to sacrifice to save his Wife and its what I wanted
She may never realize, but I sacrificed my life for her
Oh Captain of the ship, I will pray…pray for you

The ship now sunk and under the sea
For some reason, Im still here…I thought Id be dead indeed
I forgot about my life vest, which is God, who brought me afloat
My life now starting over in a small modest boat

O Lord, I pray to you to make things right
Oh ruler of the stars and the one who turns day into night
I pray for the ignorance of the World and of my former life
I now move in the direction you lead me after this long hard sacrifice

“Dedicated to the girl who I hope someday will see things through God’s eyes instead of Man’s…and Dedicated to the Family Court System who I hope someday will bring God back in as the “Head Judge”

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